Holidays

The three-week period between Shiva Asar B'Tammuz and Tisha B'Av is known as the Bein HaMetzarim period, or colloquially "The Three Weeks." During this period, we observe certain mourning practices to commemorate the destruction of the Beis HaMikdash. The degree of mourning intensifies as we approach Tisha B'Av: the second level of mourning begins on Rosh Chodesh Av and is commonly known as "The Nine Days"; the third level of mourning begins the Saturday Night preceding Tisha B'Av and is known as "shavua she-chal bo." This year, insofar as Tisha B'Av occurs on Saturday night and Sunday, there is no shavua she-chal bo. The most intense form of mourning is observed on Tisha B'Av itself.

Haircutting

General

• We refrain from shaving and haircuts during the entire three-week period commencing with Shiva Asar B’Tammuz.

Men

• If not shaving may lead to a loss of money, one may shave during the Three Weeks and the Nine Days.

Women

• If a woman’s hair is growing in such a way that it is difficult for her to keep it under her head covering, she may cut the hair during the Three Weeks.
• During the Three Weeks, a woman may continue to remove body and facial hair as she normally does.
• Women may get their sheitels cut or styled during the three weeks but not during the Nine Days, as this is not considered to be their hair, but their clothing.

Exceptions and Leniencies

• On the day of a baby’s bris, the father, mohel and sandek may all take haircuts.
• If one missed the opportunity to take a haircut, it is permitted to take a haircut or a shave on the evening preceding the Fast of the Seventeenth of Tammuz.
• A mourner who completed his mourning period during the Three Weeks may take a haircut and a shave.

Simcha

Music

• It is our custom to refrain from listening to instrumental music, live or recorded, during the three weeks. One may listen to music while exercising or while driving in order to stay awake. Programs or other occasions where the musical accompaniment is incidental to the main event may be attended or viewed.

Purchases

• During the Three Weeks, we refrain from all purchases that would require a SheHecheyanu. Accordingly, items that do not warrant a SheHecheyanu may be purchased. Items that will not arrive until after Tisha B’Av may be purchased.
• During the Nine Days, unnecessary transactions should be avoided entirely, even on items that do not require SheHecheyanu. One may purchase an item that is on sale if it won’t be available at that price after Tisha B’Av.

Weddings

• It is permitted to get engaged during the Three Weeks and Nine Days. Before the Nine Days, one may celebrate the engagement with a festive meal but without dancing. During the Nine Days, there should be no celebratory meal or singing or dancing.

Nail Cutting

• During the Three Weeks and the Nine Days, it is permissible to cut one's nails.

Bathing / Swimming

• One should refrain from bathing in warm water during the Nine Days.
• From the 17th of Tammuz until Rosh Chodesh Av there is no problem going swimming. As swimming is a form of bathing for pleasure, it is prohibited during the Nine Days. If a physician or physical therapist recommends a swimming regimen to cure an ailment such as a bad back, it is permissible.

Meat and Wine

General

• The restriction against eating meat and drinking wine begins at sunset [or after davening Maariv, whichever is earlier] on Rosh Chodesh Av.
• All meat and poultry and their derivatives are prohibited, even if no meat or poultry is actually visible (e.g. chicken soup). All wines and grape juices are prohibited. Beer, whiskey, and wine vinegar are permitted.
• Pareve food that was cooked in a meat utensil may be eaten.

Shabbat

• On Shabbat there is no restriction against eating meat or drinking wine even if one began Shabbat early (any time after plag ha-mincha).
• On Friday afternoon close to the onset of Shabbat, it is permitted to feed Shabbat food to children who normally eat at that time.
• It is forbidden to eat food left over from Shabbat even for melaveh malkah.
• If one recites Havdalah every week over wine or grape juice, one should do so during the Nine Days as well. In some places it is customary for a minor to drink the wine, while in other places an adult drinks the Havdalah wine. (If no minor is present, an adult may certainly drink the wine.) Those who make Havdalah on beer or another chamar medinah year-round should do so this week as well.

Other Exceptions

• The restriction against eating meat and drinking wine is lifted when a seudat mitzvah takes place. This includes a siyum, a bris, or a pidyon ha-ben. For a seudat mitzvah one may invite any guest who would normally be invited at any other time of the year, e.g. relatives or friends.
• There are conflicting opinions regarding the permissibility of making a siyum specifically in order to partake of meat and wine. One who is invited to such a siyum may partake in the meat and wine. All the participants should minimally listen to and understand the siyum of the text as it is being read.

Laundry

• During the Nine Days we do not launder clothes or bring laundry to a non-Jewish cleaner. However, it is permitted to do laundry for small children in small loads if necessary.
• One should refrain from wearing freshly laundered clothing, with the exception of undergarments. Therefore, one should try to wear all of the clothing that one is going to need during the Nine Days, even for a short time, before the Nine Days start. Alternatively, you can leave the clothing on the floor so that they become slightly wrinkled and dusty and lose their freshly laundered status before wearing.
• On Shabbat, it is our custom to dress for Shabbat as we do for the entire year, including wearing freshly laundered garments.

Construction

• Home construction / renovation / redecoration may not begin during the Nine Days, because of the excitement associated with these projects.
• If a hired contractor has already begun such a project, and he does not have to complete the work by a certain date, he is technically permitted to work during the Nine Days. If he can do the work after Tisha B'Av, it is preferable. One should request that the work be suspended until after Tisha B’Av. If the contractor refuses, or demands significant additional compensation for the idle days, the work may continue.
• Home repairs that are intended to fix something broken rather than add something new are permitted during the Nine Days.

Children (General) 

• In general these restrictions apply to children, not only to train them, but in order to invoke a feeling of mourning among the adults who tend to children.
• Nevertheless, the needs of a child are comparable to the needs of an adult who is ill. Therefore, during the Nine Days, one may launder the soiled clothing of a child, bathe a child who is in need of a bath, and give a child meat if it is necessary for his diet.

Erev Tisha B’Av

This year Erev Tisha B’Av is on Shabbat and therefore the normal mournful seudah mafsekes does not take place, as it would be incongruous with Shabbat. One should eat a large seudah shelisheet as the last meal prior to the fast; it may even include meat.

All eating and drinking, (and washing and anointing), must conclude by sunset (8:10 pm). However, as it is still Shabbat, one should remain in Shabbat clothes, (including leather shoes), and should continue to sit on regular chairs until 8:55 pm.

One should recite Baruch HaMavdil Bein Kodesh LeChol before performing Melacha. (If one inserted Atah Chonantanu in their Maariv Shemoneh Esrei, one need not recite Baruch HaMavdil.)

Non-leather shoes should be brought to shul before Shabbat, and changed into before Maariv.

On Motzaei Shabbat, we recite the beracha of Borei Meorei Ha-Eish. The rest of Havdalah is recited on Sunday evening after the fast.

Tisha B'Av

The same afflictions that pertain on Yom Kippur apply on Tisha B'Av as well. It is prohibited to eat, drink, bathe, anoint oneself (except if required for medical purposes), wear leather shoes or engage in marital relations.

As the learning of Torah fills us with joy, we are only permitted on Tisha B’av to learn areas of Torah relating to the destruction of the Beis HaMikdash and mourning.

We sit on the floor or low stools through Sunday at Chatzot, 1:01 pm.

The minhag is to avoid work that will divert one’s attention from the mourning until chatzot.

It is prohibited to greet someone on Tisha B'Av. We are all considered as mourners during Shiva.

The fast concludes at 8:51 pm. After the fast is over, one should refrain from eating or drinking until Havdalah is recited. Havdalah after the fast consists of Borei Peri Ha-Gafen and Ha-Mavdil. Borei Minei Besamim is not recited. Borei Meorei Ha-Eish is not recited, even if one forgot to recite it after Shabbat.

Motzaei Tisha B’Av

As the fire that destroyed the Beis HaMikdash continued burning through the tenth of Av, all restrictions of the Three Weeks and the Nine Days remain in place until Monday at Chatzot, 1:01 pm.

In the merit of utilizing these halachot to properly mourn for Yerushalayim and the Mikdash, may we be privileged to see speedily the fulfillment of the words of Chazal (Taanis 30b) kol hamisabel al Yerushalayim zoche v’roeh b’simchasa, those who mourn for Yerushalayim will merit rejoicing in its rebuilding.